Monday, July 31, 2006

Rock Bottom

You know you've hit rock bottom when you find yourself in a darkened aisle on the second floor of the library, browsing through volumes of The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyc.

I was looking for something I had read once about driveaway companies, services for getting your car from point A to point B without having to drive it. Basically, you pay some schmoe to joyride your vehicle across the country, while his only deterrent from motoring to Alaska and/or blowing it up is a $200 security deposit.

How can you not love a book whose slogan is "Promoting Thrift as a Viable Alternative Lifestyle," and whose cover offers tantalizing headlines like "Fool-proof yogurt making," "Diet on the cheap," "Economize with antiques," and "Mass-produce pies." I very much especially like the generic casserole recipe on page 47 (italicized comments are mine):

1 cup main ingredient (meat)
1 cup second ingredient (vegetable)
1-2 cups starchy ingredient (potatoes, noodles, rice, etc.)
1 1/2 cups binder (see below)
1/4 cup "goodie" (I'm not telling, but the sky's the limit!)
Seasoning
Topping

What is a "binder," you say? Elmer's glue? (According to the Gazette, binder suggestions include "cream sauce, sour cream, can of soup.") Alright poor people, get your leftovers out and let it rip. We're having "ingredient" casserole tonight! Post your creations to this blog. No need to actually make it in the kitchen. We'll do a virtual taste test, and the winner gets an entire cup of "goodies" sent via snail mail by yours truly! Don't think I'm serious? Try me.

Happy concocting!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

main ingredient: weenies
second ingr: wilting spinach leaves
2 c starch: dried out bread crumbs fit for duck feeding
1 1/2 c binder: catsup/ketchup
1/4 c "goodie": heck, let's make it a full 1/2 cup! of...RAISINS!!!
season with paprika (you only use it for deviled eggs--so might as well)
topping: more bread crumbs!

Umm, I really like the GOODIE ingredient options, it's really going to be the selling point to the kids.

KIDS: Mom! What's for casserol tonight?

MOM: You'll have to wait and see.

KIDS: Did you put the goodie in?

MOM: Lucky you, a full 1/2 c tonight of goodie!

KIDS: I hope it's a really good goodie! Like that one time you put in bird seed! And that other time you found the dried out shredded cheese in the baby's car seat! My favorite is RAISINS!!!

Anonymous said...

RAISINS!!!!!!!!

DawnTreader said...

I just had myself three servings of this delicious "Ingredient" Casserol. Try it--it's AMAZING!

main ingredient: Spam
second ingredient: Asparagus
Starchy ingredient: Rice
Binder: Campbell's split pea soup
"Goodie": Pineapple chunks
Seasoning: Marjoram
Topping: Shredded coconut

YOU'RE RIGHT: That was easy AND tasty!

Ming said...

But dawntreader wait......you hate shredded coconut!